Designated Flyer
by MaraLSky
Summary: Anakin knew he should've warned his kids never to let Obi-wan within a light-year of alcohol... A sequel to "Master, will you ever learn?", but can be understood without it.


Anakin Skywalker grimaced under the weight of his burden. It was not so much that the other man was a weight that challenged Anakin's Jedi-honed strength—indeed, he had carried the man many times before in similar situations. The grimace was more out of the irritation of having to do so for what seemed to be the thousandth time in his forty-five years. With a grunt, he flipped the other man onto the bed, which was currently adorned with linens that depicted a furious space battle above some unknown planet.

The tall Jedi Master pondered the older man for a long moment. Though past sixty, the man managed to maintain a youthful-seeming appearance, as Anakin, as his former Padawan, had kept him well on his toes even after his apprenticeship had ended. Indeed, the only visual indications of his age were the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth, and the salt-and-pepper hair. The latter the older man always attributed to Anakin more than he did his continued physical strength, denying that he would have spent all his time meditating if Anakin didn't drag him out for daily lightsaber sparring sessions.

"You're giving me a few gray hairs, old man," Anakin muttered under his breath, very quietly, as he didn't want the two figures that entered the room behind him to hear him regard the man who had been the closest thing he had ever had to a father in such a disrespectful manner. The two of them had smart enough mouths without giving them any farther ideas.

Anakin turned to face the pair, regarding them both sternly. The taller of the two figures hung his head in embarrassment, batting back his blond Padawan braid nervously. Well, Luke was always the more easily shamed of the two, though that wasn't saying much. The other figured glanced around her brother's room, looking in every direction save that of her father. Somehow, she managed to maintain that haughty stance. Anakin couldn't imagine where she had picked that up—he automatically attributed it to Padmé's politician genes. Anakin shot the man lying prone on Luke's bed a quick glare—Obi-wan always tried to say it came from Anakin himself.

"Luke, Leia, stay here and watch over Master Obi-wan while I get your mother," Anakin told them, indicating for them to have a seat on Luke's battered sofa. "What on Coruscant were you two thinking?"

Luke smiled sheepishly, but Leia rose up to her full, but diminutive height. Though she seemed to have the ability to tower over even the tallest of male Padawans, she had never seemed to manage what her mother did—which was tower over her father's considerable height. She quickly seemed to remember this as Anakin raised one eyebrow at her, waiting patiently for her to explain herself. "It's our twenty-first birthday. Master Obi-wan told us he'd be our DF."

"DF…?" Anakin asked curiously, but half dreading the answer.

"Designated flyer!" Leia replied, obviously wondering which millennia her father had emerged from. "He said as my Master, and your former Master, he was duty-bound to make sure we stayed out of trouble."

Anakin gaped at her. Apparently, he should've told her what happened when Obi-wan had volunteered to do the same on his twenty-first. Of course, Anakin had been wise to Obi-wan's less than impressive constitution by then. "Why didn't you just ask me?" Anakin asked calmly.

"You're our DAD!" Leia said as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. "And how were we supposed to know he'd pass out after a single drink? He's a _Jedi_!"

Anakin opened his mouth to ask how Obi-wan was any different, being her Master and something of a surrogate grandfather to Luke and Leia both. But he quickly changed his mind, deciding he honestly didn't want to know. "Why not that…John…Juan…whatever his name is…Captain Solo friend of yours?"

Luke and Leia exchanged incredulous glances. "Han, Dad. His name is Han. And have you ever seen him drink?"

Anakin had to admit, he hadn't. He shook his head.

Luke finally summoned up the courage to speak. "We invited him along. He's still there. In fact, we should probably go back and pick him up…" Leia and Luke both made a move toward the door.

"Oh, no you don't!" Anakin grabbed the twins by the hoods of their Jedi cloaks, pulling them back in the room. "You're staying here until Master Obi-wan is awake! You can worry about Han Solo afterwards! Now, I'm getting your mother. She's got some ancient Naboo remedy that always seems to work on Obi-wan's hangovers…"

Anakin stalked towards the door, but right before he crossed the threshold, he turned back to the twins. "Oh, and by the way…just…try not to listen to anything he says. He goes into some strange, reverse parallel universe when he's had too much to drink." This was one of the reasons he wanted Padmé in here with Obi-wan when he woke up instead of him. In this particular "reverse parallel universe", Anakin was apparently some evil Sith Lord who wore a black mask. Given that the twins were apparently victims of Sith-Anakin's "evil reign of terror", Anakin felt that it was probably safe to leave the twins in charge of Obi-wan. If he woke up, they probably wouldn't scare him too badly.

Luke and Leia looked at him in confusion, but Anakin quickly left the room in search of his wife before they could inquire about his bizarre statement.

Leia looked over at Luke worriedly. "I hope Master Obi-wan isn't too angry."

Luke shook his head, "He won't be. He volunteered. If either of us has anything to worry about, it's me. Dad doesn't seem too happy. I don't want to meditate for six straight hours," he whined.

Leia smiled smugly. "I'm so glad the Council wouldn't let Dad take us both as his Padawans. Master Obi-wan doesn't have near the temper Dad does." Luke made a face at her, but said nothing.

They sat in silence for a long moment. Then Obi-wan began to mumble.

Luke and Leia eyed the aging Jedi Master. They had heard their father's admonishment not to listen to the man's drunken ramblings, but like their father, obedience wasn't one of their strong points. Curiosity, on the other hand, was.

"Use the Force, Luke… Trust your feelings…" Obi-wan mumbled. That was one of the few things that actually made any sense to either Luke or Leia. The Jedi Master shifted, mumbling something about the "Dagobah system".

"Where is that?" Luke whispered. Leia shook her head—she had certainly never heard of it.

"Leia! Don't even _think_ about…ahh!" Obi-wan's hands flew up to his eyes, as if blocking out the horrible scene that was taking place in his mind's eye. "YOU JUST KISSED YOUR BROTHER! Ah! I'm glad I'm dead…oh, if Darth Vader only knew…that'd take care of our problem. He'd puke in his armor and choke…"

Luke and Leia stared at Obi-wan in horror and disgust.

"DAD!!!"


End file.
